Stubborn Pre-Teens

I am having the worst time with the pre-teen and his stubborn and know it all self centered attitude.  He thinks he can get everything he wants and has to do nothing to earn it. I guess boys are worse than girls also.  He is not that bad unless his dad is out and I'm alone with him, then he decides to act out and not listen to me because he thinks he can get away with it.  His dad does not punish him as much as he should and lets him get away with a lot.  Since I'm just the (step-mother) girlfriend I can't do as much to punish him either.  He thinks his dad is going to take his side and he can do what he wants.  His dad is finally seeing the light and has started punishing him a little bit more but he still acts up with me.  He gets all upset and says he hates living with me every time I get on to him or ask him to do anything.  The latest episode was today I asked him to clean his room and do some of his chores.  He has a friend over but his friend was staying the whole weekend.  He said he wasn't going to do anything because he had a guest over, I explained to him that when his friend stays two or three nights then that is not an excuse and he can stop and do some chores.  He refused and ran out the door trying to call his dad.  He said he hated me and wanted to move back to his mom's which is about 1,000 miles away.  He purposefully ran his bike into the garage. He has a bad temper and refuses to control it.  His dad and I have both told him that when he lets his temper get the best of him it only makes things worse for him, but he never gets it just keeps doing the same thing over again.  I hope he matures some in the next year because this really wears on me.  I live in a very stressful environment sometimes and I'm at my wits end. What happened to the days where kids feared their parents and when  the parents told them to do something they said yes sir or ma'm and did it even if they didn't want to.  Now days kids argue and fuss and think they don't have to do anything. We both get tired of his smart answers for everything we say.  He thinks he is the only one in the world that has to do chores.  He always tries to use that argument.